Re: dealing with teens

My teenage daughter, 15, just won't take any responsibility with her diabetes. She did better when she was in third grade. Now, I can't trust her to do her blood sugars in school or at home and she lies about doing themm too. I've tried grounding her, taking away privelages, talking to her , even a stint with a counselor all to no avail. She just keeps slipping back into careless behavior. What do I do? I am so worried about her health.  Worried mom

Wish I had an answer for you --just wanted you to know I am saying a prayer for you both! - Kris

@Susan--

I am 21 years old and have had Type I Diabetes since I was 12 months old. In my later teenage years I went through a phase, as every teen does in different quantities, where I rebelled against my diabetes and failed to check my blood sugar, give shots or eat right. My mother, just like you, was sooo worried and I regret that now. I really put her through a lot, and I will suffer the consequences later in life.

But as an encouragement to you, I did come back around. Something happened, and I'm not sure if you believe in an all-knowing, all-loving God, but I know that He got a hold of me and totally changed my mindset. One day I realized that I was killing myself unintentionally and ruining my life and everyone else's, and I started checking my BG again and taking care of myself. It took about two years, but I did come back. Currently I have no complications, thankfully. All of my mom's direction, guidance, instruction and love did nothing for me but push me away (and it works differently with different teens). When she stopped trying to control my diabetes for me, I realized I had to step it up and take care of myself. That sounds harsh, but it worked for me. She gave the reigns over to God and God took better care of me than anyone else had ever done.

The only advice I can give, just from my experience, is to pray for her and love her, but let her walk the road that she was given. She will figure it out and come back, and she will realize that you did your very best for her, and she will always respect you for that. It's okay to be worried, because you're a mom, but do not let it drive you both apart. Even if she has to go through a lot to get her attention and it drives the family nuts, always know that we all have to go through the darkness to know what the light is. She will come back!!

Take care and stay in prayer.

 I think Parksplace hit the nail right on the head Susan.  I have had diabetes for 30 years now and I've been on the Minimed pump for 10. I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was 17, so it was just a bit later in life when I got it, and not as young as your daughter.  But I remember asking "Why me?"..."Why this?".  I felt as though I was wronged, but like Parksplace mentioned, my faith in God keep me on the straight and narrow.  It kept me from just going out and doing more harm to myself.  Sadly, I've seen people do that and it's easy enough to do.   I knew that I would have diabetes for the rest of my life,.although I keep hoping for a cure someday.  So I worked out, I ran, I biked, did weights, and just decided that I would have an active life style and it's been pretty darn good so far.  At 17 I was logical about it, I realized that this is something I had to do.  Being lazy, and not taking care of myself was not an option for when I was in the Joslin Diabetes Center, I saw people missing feet and having issues from neglecting their diabetes.  Maybe this was the "shock" therapy I needed?  There was some self pity that went on, but hey....I could have gotten cancer back then so I looked at it as somewhat being thankful I didn't have.  Maybe you can find out what's the biggest part of diabetes that's bothering her?  Is it the shots everyday?...then get on the pump.   Is it the fear of loosing your eyesight, or a foot?.....then take care of yourself.  Is it the fear of the unknown?....life is full of unknowns and diabetes is not one of them, for we know how diabetes works and what it does and  if you don't take it seriously, you'll do ok.  Hopefully she goes through what ever she is going through, but nudging her in the right directions to be active, and informed about diabetes will set her up for the rest of her life.

Frank 

wow i have the same trouble with my 12 1/2 yr old son how long does this last i did the same as you  grounding him all that he starts to take care of him self but then again he does it i work in the health field and i have even told him stories about what could happen if he dont take care of his diabetes i just hope it dont last long

I went through a phase like that when i was 13-14. try scaring her by showing what she is doing to her body and what could happen if she continues to ignore her diabetes (it works!).

I want though a phase were I was the same way. Was between the age of 10-13. It was when I want to the hospital that I started to change. Ask her if she was to end up in the hospital for not takeing care of her self.

I am so sorry you are going through this, however, I am so happy to hear you are as well. Makes me feel like I am not alone. I couldn't have wrote it better myself as to what I am going through with my 15 year old daughter. I am not sure what my job is. I do not want to nag her, but her decisions or lack there of, make me be the nag!! She has had T1D since April 2009, so we are going on 3 years. Then I look at it as in 3 years she will be on her own in college. She wants to go kind of far away from home which scares me to death. If she can't be responsible with it now, will she even be remotely ready in 3 years. I make the joke all the time that diabetes is aging me like a dog!! Hang in there, and happy to have someone to relate to.