A Shared Moment....

Last evening... after dinner... we went on a family walk to take Oscar to "do his business."

I was bringing up the rear. I believe I had the baggie for the said "business" product. Bridget was yammering on and on and on and on and on (an extra "and on" to drive my point home on the excessive nature of her verbal diarrhea of the mouth ability) and Joe was running and sashaying in a zig-zap pattern between the snow banks that border the sidewalk edges. The peaks of the "zigs" and the "zags" were met with Joe crashing into the snow bank with force, gusto, and a resultant spray of snow and ice. Honestly, they were both annoying me. I was trying to find that peaceful place in my mind where I could "tune" them out, but between Joe's crashes into the banks and Bridget's incessant chatter I found that the place I so desired was unattainable. I think Dave was perhaps in the same mind-frame as I; I don't recall him saying much or irking me off at the time.

Bridget continued on chit-chatting about saving money. She is apparently saving the earth, the animals, and the diabetics. The yammering then faded out as she and Dave moved out of earshot as their pace was outdoing Oscar, myself, and Joe. Joe had been silent up until this point. Hell, we all were....we were held hostage by the verbose and passionate crusader, Bridget.

Suddenly...

Joe: "Diabetes is the most important thing in my life..."

Me: "What?" (thinking I am f*cking-up big time if this is what he is feeling)

Joe: "I mean for things to donate money to... I could die ya know ...if there wasn't research to figure out insulin shots and all the things I do for my diabetes..."

Me: "ah...yeah"

*pause*

Me: "Do you think about diabetes a lot Joe?" (thinking, please say "no"...please say "no"... please say "no")

Joe: "Nah...I almost never think about it. I think about saving the earth. Now, that concerns me."

Me: "Do you ever worry about your diabetes?"

Joe: "Sometimes."

Joe: "I worry about the bad lows... you know, the real bad ones. I feel terrible during them, just horrible. I am scared of needing the Glucagon..."

*pause*

Joe: "yeah ... The lows just make me feel so bad."

Just as suddenly as this little glimpse into his thoughts arrived ... it departed, as he skipped up ahead to catch-up with Dave and Bridget.

Oscar and I brought up the rear. I was left alone with my thoughts. I talk at length about Joe's strength and his almost indifference to diabetes, except when the care barricades him from getting from point A to point B in his seven year old "live in the moment" plans. I was surprised by this interaction. It brought some of Joe's deeper feelings and fears to the surface.

I was treated with a rare opportunity last evening. For that I am grateful, even though it left me somber. He is but a child.

A day-in-the-life of a glimpse.

For more of our day-in-the-life visit http://www.betabuddies.blogspot.com/