I'm worrying my boyfriend sick.:( Advice please

I'm not sure how many of your boyfriends or girlfriends or husbands or wives worry about your blood sugars as much as my boyfriend does, but I'm hoping there's at least one person that can help me or give me advice about what to do. :(

My boyfriend freaks out when I don't answer my phone in the morning (or after I've gone on a run, or to the y, or basically anytime) because he automatically assumes that I probably went low and died in my sleep.

I was dumb enough one day to tell him the story I read online about a man who slept on his pump wrong, and accidentally primed his whole reservoir into his body.  By the time someone found him in the morning, he was dead from hypoglycemic shock.  

I wish I had never said anything about that, but the truth is that diabetes can be scary if we aren't careful.  

Whenever we go out, he constantly reminds me to check my blood sugar or remember to bring juice (I do have an awful memory, so I actually do appreciate when he reminds me to do things like this sometimes) but my phone was on low volume this morning and he called me like 16 times and I didn't wake up to any of them (I am a deep sleeper).   I know he assumed that my blood sugar was really low because I'd been drinking the night before, and now he's really mad because he worries about me and gets stressed when he can't reach me.   

I don't know what else to do to make sure that he feels reassured about the fact that I won't die from having a hypoglycemic attack, because it could possibly happen, and I don't want to belittle that.  The only thing I can think of to do is to buy another alarm clock (I use the kind with bells on top but you can only set 1 alarm) to make sure I actually get up and check when I'm supposed to.  Even with my phone on the highest volume, it doesn't always wake me up.  Also, I forgot to say, but I have never slept through a low.  I have woken myself up many times within the past 13 years without an alarm--yeah, sometimes my blood sugars have been scary low (28, 26) but I still don't want to risk it and make my boyfriend more worried than he needs to be.

Any advice would be appreciated--

Hayley

You're totally right that diabetes can be scary and I think most partners worry about safety of the person they love.  HOWEVER, it seems like he's overreacting.  Does he have problems with worrying or OCD?  

One of the most important parts of being in a relationship is helping each other out and working together.  You're going to need to create a solution that works for both of you and that's realistic in real life.  

Before using the pump I had scary early morning lows that almost killed me.  My husband literally saved my life 3 times...  Getting a pump took away the bad lows, but my husband is a worrier by nature and would stress if he called a few times and I didn't pick up the phone.  So we made an agreement that I'll try to do a better job of keeping my cell phone on me and I also try to check messages if I take a shower or something.  But he's also agreed not to overreact if I'm not accessible at every minute.  

Obviously I'm a lot older than you.  When I was young I dated nice guys, but in hindsight we weren't great matches.  When I met my husband it was totally different.  I thought he was handsome and fun, but I also felt completely comfortable with him and know we are a good team.  You ultimately need that kind of a bond to make it through life and to have an enduring marriage.  

That's great that he cares so much about you, but I agree with jennagrant that it's a bit much. If I were you, I'd reassure him that while such an incident is possible it is highly unlikely and that you have more of less excellent control of your diabetes. Also, I don't know what your living situation is, but assuming you don't live alone, I'd remind him of that, too.

Just to clarify, I'm not endorsing the comment about OCD lol, just the overreacting part ; )

I should also say that just last week, he woke me up from a bad low.  I don't know if I would've woken up from it if he hadn't called me.  That's kind of put more stress on him, and I wish I could somehow take it away.  He is a natural worrier, especially since he's very well educated about the seriousness of how dangerous highs and lows can be..:/

Can you get a CGM? It sounds like you could certainly use one. I would worry that your boyfriend sounds like he has control issues. It is something to think about. It is not uncommon.

That puts it in perspective a little more, that he's recently saved you from a bad low.  It will probably take a little time for him to be assured that you're okay.  

What caused the low?  Have you checked your basal rate recently?  Might be good to have a night when you wake up every hour (or 2) to check it.  

He is a little "controlling" about it but I think I would be too if the situation was reversed and I'd just saved his life a mere week ago.  He does have issues trusting that I can handle myself, yet again, can we all really always handle ourselves?  Like I said, I think I really freaked him out with that story about the man who slept on his pump and dispensed all of his insulin into himself & died.  Honestly though, he is always there for me to remind me to check if I am slacking a little or if we're going out.  He knows I trust him with my diabetes but then again, it is my disease, not anyone else's.  I think I need to prove to him that I won't have any bad lows by tightening up my temp. basals (the bad low was caused by lifting weights at night..I know it's not the best time for me to do it since it frequently causes me lows even if I eat protein).  I do have a CGM but recently got a refill of new sensors (just put one in today, actually) and hopefully that'll help too.  

Ok, I see where you're coming from a little better now given the low you had, and to a certain extent I am with you when you say you "need to prove to him that I won't have any bad lows..." But it's also true that you're going to continue to have expected and unexpected problems with your blood sugar. While it's great that he cares so much about you that he wants to make sure you're safe and that you care so much about him that you want to make sure he's not freaking out, I don't know that it's not good for either one of you to expect you to have perfect control. Here's something I just thought of...explain to him WHY the low occurred and what measures you're taking to prevent it from happening again (alcohol's a tricky one, considering the impaired judgement, but the gym might be more predictable). Sorry if this all sounds preachy, and I know relationships are sensitive topics, hope everything works out!