Re: asking someone who doesnt know out

if someone doesnt want to be with you souly because of the fact that youre a diabetic, you dont need them in your life. and can do better. somebody likes you for you, the whole you, and who you are.diabetes is part of who you are, and someone will love you all the same, low, high, grouchy, or anything, if they REALLY care about you

Dylan,

You would think that as you get older people would not want to go out with you because of diabetes but I have found in my personal experience that although that may be true for some people others as they get older may be more open because most people actually develop some type of a disease as they age and may then have more exposure and therefore more understanding of being chronically ill. 

I guess what I am trying to say is do not be concerned about age and dating with diabetes.  That is not the worst of it.  Just try to take care of yourself and have as much fun as possible while pursuing your goals (dreams) and you will do fine in all areas of your life.

I think you should treat your diabetes like anything else in a dating relationship, don't force it.  During a date, I've found people eat at some point, and this makes a good time to say "oh I need to take my insulin" or something like that.  If you treat it like it is something to be ashamed of you send the signal its ok to think diabetes is weird.  If you are still worried about asking the guy out, take it from a guy's perspective, most of us are scared to ask girls out.  It can feel nice to know "yes this girl likes me".  One tip for the date if you have a pump: let them know early on its a pump.  One girl thought I kept checking my pager because I was bored.

Unfortunately I understand the situation Jackie is in. As much as diabetes isn't and shouldn't be a debilitation to dating, it can be.

Some people view diabetes as a disease. Doesn't matter what the effects of the disease are, or how it's obtained, or what it does, you're 'damaged goods'. That's a horrible way of describing it, but that's the way some people see it.

That said, this viewpoint is absolutely incorrect.

Jackie, those that view you this way are not worth your time or effort. You need to stand up and say "I'M DIABETIC", turn around and look at the people around you who haven't run away, and then chat them up, mark some as friends, and fall into love just like anyone else.

If nothing else, it's an easy way to weed out the shallow guys. ;)

As others said, I would ask him out.

I will say the dating process is still a bit new to me with Diabetes. Thankfully, they seem to find out through conversation before we even go out. For instance, I have known a guy at my work(same building, different department) for the last few months. We would chit chat quite often, but nothing else. On Wednesday night he suddenly noticed my pump(he said he never noticed it before, I doubt it). He asked me if it was my phone. I told him nope, just my insulin pump. He asked a few more questions afterwards(do I check my BG a lot, is it attached 24/7 etc), but it didn't phase him at all. I didn't go into great detail, I just told him the basics, and only went as far as answering the questions he asked. At this point, that is all he needs to know. He still asked for my number before my shift ended, and we have a 'date' Sunday night. In a way, I am happy he asked about my pump, because now he knows...and it is not big deal.

I know this may not be what you want to hear. But just remember, someone who can't look past the diabetes is probably not worth the trouble anyways.

I think that if you don't tell him that would just make it more difficult for it to sink in for him if you wait longer. I had the same thing happen to me about the other boy thing too.

Jackie

letsa just say im still single. i chickened out ofcourse

Don't approach it like you either need to ask them out or not do anything at all.

In my experience with relationships of any kind, especially when you're nervous as all hell to ask them out (for whatever reason), the best thing to do is to get to know them first as a friend. People who tell you friends make bad boyfriends / girlfriends? They're wrong. Trust me.

As you get to know them, you'll get to know how they feel about your diabetes. THEN if it still feels right and you still feel hooked on them, you'll find it all too easy to ask them out.

Well, i would go right ahead because he better love you because of who you are. I had a friend at school that asked out a girl, he also had T1D, and it turns out the girl had it too. You never know, maybe he has fam who had T1D and he might understand you.

I had no problem asking my girlfriends out,  The first, her Mom was diabetic so she understood.  The second I just Imagined her as a friend and not to be nervous, she took it well.  In fact she was somewhat nurturing, not too excessive, but she understood if I didn't feel well.

and if they don't like it, FORGET THEM, I'd enjoy a diabetic girl for once!

I've only had T1 since July of 09, but the first couple of guys I asked out they didn't like the fact. They were like what if something happens and I don't know what to do?!?!?! UGH that frustrated me. But my boyfriend now he totally understands everything and is ok with it. His best friend is T1 also. So he's always in a nice sweet way is always checking on me. It's really helped since I've gone into this deal where I don't wanna care about D anymore but that's another forum topic.

Jackie, I kown how it is. I did this about 2 mouths ago with my boyfriend. I write kody a note saying that i have diabetes and everything. Kody sent me a letter in the mail saying that he kown that I have diabetes and that "just because u have diabetes not not change the way I feel about u reamber I will always love u" that is what He told me after I write the note.

Hey Jackie! I know how it is. I just recently had to deal with this too but everything went ok. I say you should go ahead and ask him out and then tell him that your diabetic. If he changes his mind because of that then he's pretty stupid. It's his loss. I had a guy dump me before because I was diabetic and I was shocked and dissapointed but my mom was like "Oh there are other guys out there, and it's his loss". You can't help that your diabetic and he should understand that. When I told my boyfriend he was all cool about it and everything. He said that it didn't change anything about the way he felt about me. So I think you should go for it. Shoot for the stars. Lol. Hope this helps.

~Brittany~

Brittany that is the same thing my boyfriend now told me. And he kown that I had diabetes for like 2 year cause he seen my  pump and he has a friend that has a pump

Im 14 almost 15 so I know what your going through. I usually ask the girl out and i tell her on the first date that im diabetic and i havent had any problems with it and it works for me, give it a try it could work for you too